Lost confidence? We can rebuild it!

02 Nov 2021

Have you lost your confidence?

You’re definitely not alone in feeling like this. Low self-esteem is one of the most common conditions that clients contact me for.

We all start life with the same level of confidence. No-one is born confident, no matter how natural their confidence may seem!

But over time, your confidence levels can change. They aren’t set in stone and they can decrease or be boosted. So what is it that makes us lose confidence?


Comparing yourself to other people is one of the biggest factors, especially when it comes to social media. How many times have you scrolled through Instagram and found endless “success” stories filling up your feed? If you’re not in the same place with your body or business, the negative comparisons can trigger unhappiness with who you are and the path you’re on.  It’s fuelled a rise in body image issues and an inevitable impact on confidence and low self-esteem.

You may have heard of the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy”. With social media playing such a prominent role for many of us, it’s all too easy to compare yourself unfavourably to others in this way – without pausing to remember that these images are likely to have been carefully chosen to present a specific persona. What you’re seeing may not be the real truth! Focusing so much on other people ultimately means you have less positive energy for yourself.


Relationship behaviours are often a trigger too. If you have had negative experiences in a relationship, it can leave you feeling like you are somehow to blame. It can also make you feel you’re not enough or not worthy of being in a “good” relationship.

Gaslighting, ghosting by potential partners or finding that you have been cheated on can increase feelings of self-doubt and lower your self-esteem.

Past mistakes can be another factor in low self-confidence. One of the things I want my clients to recognise is that your mistakes don’t define you. They’re a learning curve that helps you get to where you should be in life. Moving past the feelings of failure, guilt or shame can be very challenging but absolutely necessary for feeling confident in yourself.

The Impact of Low Confidence

Self-doubt can quickly spiral into negative thinking that permeates every part of your life.

Low confidence can leave you feeling fearful and afraid of being judged by other people, which can hold you back and stop you from reaching your potential. I truly believe that we all have a path in life but low confidence can derail you on your journey and send you on a path that wasn’t meant for you.

The knock-on effect means we start to avoid certain situations, which has a huge impact on your confidence and your life. Many of my clients have been avoiding social situations, interacting with people, and being in public places due to low confidence.

Low confidence can also manifest as disliking your appearance. Do you find yourself cutting labels out of clothes or avoiding looking at your reflection in a mirror?

Moving past the fear of being judged and not caring what others may think of you is difficult and requires some rewiring of your thought patterns. I can promise you that it’s definitely possible though!

How I Can Help

There’s a lot we can do to improve your confidence levels. Self-confidence is a skill that your mind can learn and hone. It just needs a nudge in the right direction, which is where I can help using Solution Focused Hypnotherapy.

In your hypnotherapy sessions, we will work on relaxing your mind and changing your mindset so that you can see yourself in a more positive light.

I use talking therapy and trance to communicate with your subconscious mind and help you see yourself in a healthy, positive way. We move your focus away from the negative feelings and beliefs that have been having so much impact on your life and replace them with new positive thought patterns. This allows you to focus on the things that make you feel happy, safe and comfortable. It also helps you to think more positively about yourself and play up the things that make you unique.

With the help of hypnotherapy, you can feel more positive and rebuild your confidence. You can learn to love yourself again and feel at ease in social situations.
Just imagine how you’ll feel when your confidence is no longer holding you back and you feel able to live a more happy and positive life again.

If you would like to have a chat to see how I could help you improve your confidence, please contact me on any of the options below, I’ll be happy to talk with you

Caron Iley

Clinical Hypnotherapist & Solution Focused Practitioner

Senior Lecturer and Supervisor

Havisham Hypnotherapy

T: 07580 041394

E: to:ci@havishamhypnotherapy.co.uk”>ci@havishamhypnotherapy.co.uk

W: www.havishamhypnotherapy.co.uk